Pursuing Him

Pursuing the heart of God–pursuing His face is a matchless journey.  It started for me in my college dorm room. There would be nights when I would go to sleep feeling so empty. I felt unfulfilled—like I was going through the motions. It was my senior year of college and I guess you could say, I felt my clock ticking—that is–my destiny clock. All of my friends were applying for graduate programs and I was twiddling my thumbs. I just could not shake this deep-rooted feeling that there was more to life–there was more to my life. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with getting a degree or four, working in a career, and establishing yourself. That’s actually something I really value and support. But in late 2011 with 2012 creeping around the corner, I just knew there was more for me than another degree and a career. I wanted there to be more.

That’s where it started: I wanted more. My pursuit for God transformed from me chasing after His hands (what He can do) to longing after His face (who He is). That’s how I ended up in Redding, California. That’s how I’m back here again for round two.

You know it’s totally different? There’s a weight to this second year. This–this is a choice, a conscious choice. Not that first year wasn’t, because it was. I decided to go. I boarded that plane and drove up I-5. Yet in coming back, I can say pursuing Jesus looks like something–it’s a choice. Now understand, pursuing Jesus looks like joy, peace, and hope. It looks like a love story unfolding. It feels like butterflies in your stomach and goose bumps on your arms. It is a daily, tangible encounter with Him. In the same sense, it’s a choice. About two weeks ago, I had the honor of hearing one of the 2^nd year pastors’ heart–Hayley Braun. She talked about knowing Him (Jesus) in choice and in passion.  In passion is like how I described above, you feel it. You feel the fire, the zeal, the hunger. It’s all you think about and all you wanna do. In choice is when all of that seems to fade. When all of your emotions scream the opposite. It’s when you aren’t feeling ‘passionate’ or ‘hunger’ that you still choose Him.

First year was undeniable passion for me. I felt it all and couldn’t get enough. Second year is a mixture weighing heavily on the choice side. This is fine because I’m learning. I’m being stretched. I’m realizing that, despite what my emotions think or feel, I choose Him. I choose His promises. I choose His truth. I choose to remember His faithfulness even when I feel faithless. At the end of the day, He is worth it. He is worth it all. His love is worth it all. That’s what’s sustaining me. Knowing that He is the ultimate prize, and that everything else that comes from this pursuit is just a beautiful addition to the masterpiece, keeps me going.

Pursuing Jesus looks like something. It feels like something. It is something. It is the best thing I could ever do.

MINI UPDATE

Hey guys! It’s been a month since I last blogged. It has been a crazy few weeks of processing and stretching!!! I am super excited to share what’s been happening with my heart and all that jazz! But first, I need YOUR help!
I first want to thank Jesus I was able to start 2nd year with half of my tuition paid leaving a balance of $2200. He is so INSANELY faithful. He is a fulfiller of our hearts’ desires and dreams. As the first month of the school year is coming to a quick close, I ask for your prayers as I am still in need of $2200. I am a FIRM believer that God finishes what He starts. It is impossible for Him to not come through. It is against His nature to not show up. He is also the Daddy who does nothing in halves. When He let His son die on the cross for us, He didn’t let Him die half-way. He didn’t raise Him half-way. He did it ALL in FULL. He’s ALL IN. With that said, I am believing God to have my tuition fully paid off within the next month. By October 1st I will need at least $1100 to continue with 2nd year. As I pray for more faith and boldness in this, I release it over you. Whatever financial concerns you may have whether it be debt, rent past due, car notes, accumulated fees–whatever it maybe—I release every financial breakthrough I’ve had over you! Every financial miracle I’ve witnessed you have permission to receive! Even as you read this supernatural provision is happening. Doors are opening in places you least expect. Checks are being placed in the mail. Papa prick the hearts of the community this reader is surrounding by so this reader knows they are not alone or forgotten. Release Your grace over their finances. Let this reader know that they are seen and that YOU see their need and will ALWAYS provide for them. He’s just that good!
Again, I say thank you to all those reading this who have invested in my journey thus far. You are a part of dreams coming true and I am so grateful! If you are coming across The Redding Project for the first time, check out my story here. To invest in the second leg of this journey, just do the following below:
go to www.ibssm.org and click on “give to tuition”. Type in my name: Danae Carson.
Any amount counts and I’m greatly humbled and thankful for your support and your belief in me. Know that God’s hand is ALL over your dreams. He is ALL over your finances. He doesn’t give you crazy big dreams to tease you. He fulfills them. He has pre-budgeted your lives. Every expense, every need is accounted for before you came into this world. God is limitless. He has limitless resources. I stand in agreement with you and declare life and truth over your finances. If you experience ANY financial breakthrough after reading this or if you have experienced it in your life prior, leave a comment on this post so that others can read it and be encouraged! There is POWER in the testimony!
You guys are AMAZING!
Til next time,
D